There’s Help For Reality Confusion After Childhood Trauma

Were you neglected by your mother? Sexually, emotionally, or physically abused? Traumatizing childhoods make you lonely, terrified, angry, and all-too-tough. They ravage your trust and confidence. You end up confused: Who am I? Who are you? And, what is reality?

These questions likely haunt you.

Trauma makes you distraught. Distrusting. Insecure. Too, too alone. How do you trust people? Will they hurt you? Are they no different than the ones who traumatized you? You don’t know how to process what you’re experiencing. Is anyone safe?

The part of you that wants to connect with people. Wants love. Has human needs. Says, “NO!!” “Stay away.” You’re too scared. Connecting feels dangerous. You know, deep in your bones that you can’t count on anyone to be there. So, you don’t take the risk. You shut down desire. Don’t want anything. Control the world of loss. And, your mind gets filled up with all kinds of “theories” about people.

Theories you believe. Like: “No one can be trusted.” “It’s better to never feel, need, or want anything again.” Or, “I’m no good, and no one will love me.” But, after severe trauma, most of your convictions aren’t true at all. And it takes a lot of help to see they aren’t reality.

Because, it seems like they are. They’re part of trying your best to escape from pain. From no one caring. Or understanding who you are. From never fitting in anywhere. From needs that feel “bad.” It’s made you really sad. But your sadness seems impossible to deal with.

When there’s been no one to comfort you or make you feel secure; when there’s no one to count on or make you feel safe, you’re on your own. Trauma makes you have to go far, far away from your pain. Sometimes, out of desperation, you’ll do anything to get rid of it.

When you’re traumatized early in your life you blame yourself. You end up feeling you’re “not a good person.” Or that you “aren’t good enough.” You want to trust someone. But you can’t. Is there anyone you might be able to trust?

It’s hard not to despair. But there is help. Find a therapist who specializes in childhood trauma. Someone who listens and understands your fears and the reasons you can’t trust. Trust can grow. You don’t have to keep living this way.

If you’d like to read more, click on the link for my post on Bugonia on Characters on the Couch.